My husband Shane is a carpenter. He’s a really good one, and a fair one, too. (In fact, we just started a side business selling birdhouses that can be found and bought at Shanesbirdhouses.com. I’m allowed to do this; it’s my blog). I have my fingers and brain in a portion of what he does: bookkeeping, accounting, tax preparation, marketing, etc. But when it comes to bidding jobs and billing, I have no idea what’s going on and I don’t get involved. I take his word for what’s written on his invoices. I recognize there is cap to what I can understand about his line of work.
In other words, I don’t question his performance integrity.
This summer, when your child is in swim lessons, if you get this gnawing feeling that something doesn’t seem quite right, you could be questioning your swim instructor’s integrity. This can be perfectly normal. But the questioning usually goes one of two ways: The root of the issue is a small communication error easily fixed OR an unsolvable wedge.
Example: Let’s take crying in class. Whether caused by fear or tiredness, let’s say it is very uncharacteristic like of your 4-year old child to be crying. Are they testing you or the instructor? Do they not understand the behaviors expected of them? This is could be a small communication error that the parent and teacher can fix together by focusing on delivering the same message and tone: Be willing. I’m not saying the crying will stop immediately (sometimes it takes several more lessons to get the message), just that the adults need to help turn the tide of the child’s attitude.
Now let’s take that uncharacteristic-like crying kid. If you know in your gut they have put forth a 100% willing attitude, you’ve got to decide if the reason for the tears is caused by something unchangeable about the swim instructor or your child. You’ve got to decide very carefully whose performance integrity to question.
I think more than one sign exists when you start to question a swim instructor. You hear things from other parents. You look around the pool and don’t like what you see (or you see someone better). So what do you do?
I think your chances of changing how someone teaches or how a pool program is run is very slim. It’s an unsolvable wedge. So you move on to a different teacher or place. You get a refund. You mention something, but your strategy is to move on.
The same approach is used if you suspect its your child that’s the problem. I think your chances of changing how someone feels about being taught when they truly aren’t ready is very slim. So you move on to a different activity. You get a refund. You mention something to your child, but your strategy is to move on.
