So before working out a few more kinks, I will direct you to my new website created just for the book, FearstoFins.jux.com. Here I have shared several instructional images found inside the ebook so you can get an idea of what it is all about.

Accompanying the text is over twenty high-resolution visual photos to support the clear advice and solid swim path I provide in helping you create a safe and happy swim life for your little ones. As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words!

I don’t see the value of overtly praising a child for doing something to be expected, especially when it comes to swimming.

Occasionally in my lessons, I come across these uber-positive moms who put on a very exaggerated happy face when their child has accomplished some average feat, like responding to my request that they kick their feat. And the child, used to this kind of treatment, eats it up.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m all for creating a healthy, supportive swim environment, as my last post discussed. But too much praise, especially when unmerited, really doesn’t teach our children about reaching expectations in a responsible manner.

So in situations like this, good teachers like myself feel frozen. Because we sense the child is not used to being pushed, asking them to put forth any real effort — which is required when learning to swim — would likely be way too traumatic for them.

Therefore, I think not being honest about what it takes to become a swimmer is much more traumatic.

Here’s some advice all parenting styles can use when introducing a young and tender new swimmer to the pool:

• Splashing is totally normal, totally expected behavior. I site this as the first bullet point, because it will likely be the first dislike your hesitant swimmer will encounter in the pool. Explain this is what water does, and it’s okay. But do not try to stop or control it. Which leads right into my next point …
• Getting your face wet is to be expected, and accepted. Do not run and get the towel when your child cries because of water on the face. Stay calm, ensure they are fine. Which leads into the next point …
• YOUR reaction teaches them how to react. It’s time to do a body language check. Do you cringe in the water? Well, that’s why they do. Do you try not to get your hair wet? Well then, why should your child feel all enthused about going under water?

We want to help our children adjust to the world around it, and in my case, that means the pool. I think by being honest about when praise is truly warranted — and when it is not — we can create measurement sticks that kids can, and will want to respond to. We must have faith in their resiliency.

As a newer mom, I’ve struggled through several daily — and sometimes weekly and monthly — issues like this already. Like trying to get your kid to sleep. Or eat.

So as a swim teacher, when I see parents exhibiting this concern or worry about how their child might be showing signs of resistance about learning to swim, I can pull advice from typical parenting coping wisdom:

• This, too, shall pass. Like the food and sleep thing, suddenly not liking the water is a phase that will pass. It might last weeks and months, but it will pass. Also understand kids or babies that love the water are also subject to go through their issues of resistance with swimming. You just don’t see it yet.
• Lower your expectations. I also like to call this doing the best you can, with the acceptance that sometimes your best isn’t looking as good as it was the day before. We’ve all woken up with sick kids on busy days … you know you have to downshift your expectations to make the day tolerable for everyone. Sometimes all your baby can handle is a 10-minute swim session. That’s okay.
• Continue with water exposure. The conventional wisdom with food is you must push something EIGHT times before accepting your child doesn’t like it. The best thing you can do for any child of any age who is having a negative experience with water is to continue to go into the pool on a regular basis.
• Make sure the water experience is always positive. This covers everything from water temperature to your reaction when they cry. Being child-centered with swimming means not forging ahead with skills your child isn’t ready to perform. Yes, we all want children to be water safe, but you might need to prepare yourself to cycle through these bullet points for a period or season.

A staggering 25% do nothing at all. Is it any wonder why  heart disease is the number one killer?

For teens between the ages of 12 and 21, it gets worse: nearly HALF do not participate in vigorous activity at all.

So if you work out regularly, you’re in a very unique percentage. There’s about 15% of you. Here are the American College of Sports Medicine guidelines for exercise defined as:

• 3 days of vigorous-intensity exercise for about 20-25 minutes a day OR;
• 5 days of moderate-intensity exercise for about 30 minutes a day OR;
• A combination of the two.

Your exercising needs to include resistance training that includes working both muscles and joints (think four sets with 8 to 12 repetitions per set); challenges your balance and agility; and involves ten minutes of stretching at the end.

This is not true. While its important everyone should know how to be water safe (ie. fall into a pool or open body of water and be able to get to safety), being able to use side breathing in an effective manner isn’t something you try for three minutes and then expect yourself to be able to apply to endless laps. Learning to side breathe is like learning how to breathe all over all over.

Not many of us can remember what it was like to learn how to walk. I have an 11-month old; while she’s not trying to take steps on her own yet, her first ones will be awkward. She will fall down a lot. It will be a major feat to get two steps in a row when she starts.

Learning to side breathe takes this sort of patience.

It seems so easy … especially when we watch accomplished swimmers. But we have to get back into the mind-frame of an 11-month old. Babies of this age are incapable of comparing themselves to others. They are in their own world, making immediate peace with what they are able to do, or not do.

What action or exercise would be appropriate for an adult making those first “steps” to lap swimming? Assuming you have access to a pool …

• Create a water comfort zone. Goggles, swim cap, a workable bathing suit, are all ways open up your athletic channel. When babies learn to walk, we don’t have them practice blindfolded, in uncomfortable shoes or put things in their path that they can tumble over.
• Practice the dead man’s float. This is floating with your face down in the water, doing nothing at all but watching the bottom of the pool. You want to discover your buoyancy — how much you have it. Everyone experiences a 50-80% total body weight loss in the pool, so no matter what you think, you do float somewhat.
• Relax, relax, relax. Tense muscles equate to sinking. Most adults drown not because they can’t swim, but because they panic. The opposite of relaxed is … stressed, tight, anxious. You must be a cloud, not a rock, in the pool.
• Grab a kick board, but hold it like a crumbly cracker. The kick board has a “head” or top, and a “tail” which is the bottom. Hold the tail with your hands (fingers up, thumbs under), but don’t grip it like it has the power to hold you up. A kick board is a swim TOOL, not a flotation device.
• Stretch out those arms and kick. With your face flopped down in the water (meaning, don’t try to hold it up), began straight-leg kicks, as known as flutter kicking. To move forward, you need an aerobic speed: short, fast, and frequent.
• Keep kicking when you lift your head for a breath. And remember: Don’t put pressure on the board. The board should never go under or aid you in lifting your head … just tilt your neck up and you can avoid bringing up shoulders up.
• Big breath, then back down, repeat, repeat, repeat — and then take your assessment. Did you make from one end of the WIDTH of the pool and back? A few feet before you got exhausted? Maybe it wasn’t as pretty as you had imagined it. Learning to side breathe begins with learning how to breath all over again before the fancy stuff starts.

I’m a successful adult and child swim teacher with 15 years of experience, but here’s how I almost gave up on learning lap swimming. Don’t let this story intimidate your swim goals. I’ll get you there in three steps.

Years and years ago, at the age of 23, during my first day of the lifeguard training at the part where we do 8 laps in the pool back-to-back, the instructor stopped me. “I don’t think you are going to be able to do this,” he said to me.

I didn’t get it. What I didn’t get was why a very athletic person like myself wasn’t just picking lap swimming up. I could see why the instructor had concern — after four laps I was totally winded. I was struggling to breathe. Yet everyone else around me was calming swimming that 200 yards, back and forth, doing flip-turns and pushing off the wall like a ping pong balls. No choking on water, no heavy panting. Yet I was almost hyperventilating. What was I doing wrong?

Step #1: Not being winded has everything to do with how you are breathing and blowing. Swimming laps well isn’t about fast kicks and strong arms and getting to the side as fast as you can. Swimming laps well is first about coordinating your breathing. It is about building distance stamina by making your breathing work for you.

• FIRST-TIMERS LAP SWIMMING EXERCISE: Start it out slowly and with a kickboard. Body horizontal on the water, begin kicking with straight legs, holding the end of the board not too tight with two hands. With your head looking at the bottom, start to slowly blow bubbles. Now let your left hand go and pull straight down, bringing the arm all the way around to grab the kickboard once again. Move onto the right –  but when that right arm has finished pulling down and is stretched behind you, roll your body to the right side and take a breath. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Soon this exercise is modified to a simple phrase: One arm (bubbles), two arm (bubbles), roll and breathe.

Step #2: Prepare to humble yourself with one-lap victories.Seriously, how many times do you think you need to repeat this process to make it 25 yards, or one end of the pool to the other? For a newbie, I’d say 35 times. That’s 35 inhales and 35 exhales. That’s 70 arms movements, and an innumerable amount of kicks. You’d better paced yourself. Because your goal is to get to the end of the lap without stopping AND not be winded. Then your next goal would be to do two laps and not be winded. And then three laps and not be winded. We call that progress.

• FIRST-TIMERS LAP SWIMMING WORKOUT GOAL: In swimming one lap is there and back. Each distance is 25 yards. We would be bored to tears (not to mention totally lost) if we just counted laps. So we breakdown a workout like so:

1. Warm Up/4×25 straight or flutter kick only w/ board (100 yd. or 4 laps);
   
2. Conditioning Phase/ 4×50 freestyle stroke (150 yd. or 8 laps with stopping on same end and not both ends);
3. Cool Down/ 4×25 freestyle slow (100 yd. or 4 laps).
4. TOTAL WORKOUT = 16 laps or 400 yd.
   

Step #3: Getting good at lap swimming is a slow-building process.I took to heart what my lifeguard instructor said and had two weeks to prove him different. Everyday I showed up at the pool and practiced. I built up my ability slowly and conditioned myself through proper breathing. There’s really no other way. You cannot “power through” or “bite the bullet” with the sport of swimming (like I did with lacrosse, softball and tennis).

There is a great quote by Arthur Ashe I like to recall when I feel intimated or overwhelmed with something (kind of like how you might be feeling with lap swimming). “Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” So start with one good breath at a time. Speed and technique comes later. Want to learn more about how to swim laps on Squidkid.org? My life is dedicated to turning beginners like you into lap swimmers.  Check out these links:

What’s Wrong with My Freestyle Form? Squidkid Answers Your Questions

Freestyle Notes: The Power of Less When You Swim

Freestyle Notes: The Importance of Rotating Breathing

How to End Neck Pain During Freestyle Swimming

Off-Beat Lesson #1: When I teach diving, I warn my kids I will often try and trick them into getting the first and most important rule wrong, which is always dive in the deep end. That I might ask them at any point in a lesson, Hey, let’s go dive in the shallow end! It is the only time I tell them it is okay to say to no to my instruction.

Off-Beat Lesson #2: It is okay to kick and hit someone who is panicking and holding onto you in the water.

Potential multiple drowning situations are one of the most common forms of swimmer distress. One kid gets in over his head and physically uses the child next to him/her to “climb” out of the situation. And they are extremely hard to detect, as the child being held down is out of site.

When I earned my lifeguarding license through American Red Cross, I had a 300-pound male instructor test my ability to get out of a hold by asking me to close my eyes so he could creep up on me while treading and take me under.

I bet that is how a kid feels when a slightly larger and panicked child grabs onto him. The idea is for the child to get away, using whatever means possible. The idea is for the child to go get the proper help. For water safety tips, go to this American Red Cross link.

Myth #1: I won’t get a challenging workout. Shear baloney. Water is 12 times the resistance on land and 820 times thicker than air. You get a 3-D workout and without high-impact that is hard on joints and knees. The key word in water aerobics here is resistance. You will be in charge of your own intensity, but the instructor will act as the driving force.

Myth #2: I don’t want to ruin my hair. You won’t, if you simply rinse it in water before you get in a chlorinated pool — dry hair soaks up whatever you give it. Tie it up if it is long. Look, I have super-long, super-thin hair and mine is not ruined by being in the pool five days a week. Only because I wet it ahead of time and make a conscientious effort not to go underwater if I don’t have to. Water aerobics classes are not designed to have exercises that take you under.

Myth #3: I’m not an accomplished swimmer so I wouldn’t know what I was doing. You don’t have to know your frog kick from your whip kick to do well in a water aerobics class. Water workouts have to do with sustaining proper alignment by using your core muscles to give you a sense of stability in dealing with the buoyancy issue. In other words, be more concerned about posture and finding balance than doing the freestyle. Plus, you wear a float belt the whole time to support your floating.

Myth #4: I look horrible and will feel uncomfortable in a bathing suit. You will not be alone in that feeling, but after a few weeks, you will a) not even care anymore because b) you will be feeling so good about attending class you’ll notice physical and mental changes. It’s not as if all the svelte people attend water aerobics — there are students of ALL shapes, abilities, and sizes; and in suits of ALL shapes, abilities and sizes. You’ll sometimes see me in water-designed cover up clothing, like shirts and shorts.

Myth #5: I don’t have all that time to change, do a wet workout, and then shower. Those are a lot of reasonable excuses, but let me reason with you on a different level that showcases the benefits of doing your workout in the water: A cheaper water bill because you shower at the gym; saving money on hair care because the gym provides it; you don’t wait around for a machine or equipment to become available; and if you are going to change in and out of clothing to workout, don’t you save some time by pulling on just a suit rather than a shirt, shorts, socks, and shoes?

So give water workouts a chance and dive in.

Any body of water in your backyard — from garden fountains to filled up buckets to extremely shallow portable pools — is a drowning risk. It’s so easy to overlook these things, because we become so used to their presence. Or the safety associated with owning them gets neglected because it’s a downer or a hassle to do the right thing.

It’s kind of how I feel when someone I don’t see too often wants to hold my baby: I feel bad for asking that person to take a squirt of hand sanitizer, like I am some kind of germ-freak. And it sort of kills the mood. But it is what I need to do. I’m glad I’ve done it, because it turns out Josie has been exposed to whooping cough. And one time, strep throat. And then slap-cheek fever. And this past weekend, the flu!

Take precautions around ANY body of water! Don’t feel bad about being an advocate for safety. Hmm. Maybe next post is about how to be proactive around a pool (especially hard when the pool isn’t yours) without being annoying or taking away the fun.

To summarize Part 1, we discussed while it is definitely important your infant or toddler partake in lesson or pool exposure, and that amazing things can happen at this age, the question When will my child be able to swim on their own? is a very loaded question with answers that hinge on a hierarchy of expectations. Swimming takes a certain physical strength and cognitive development, and while that develops daily for each young age, it will not be until much older, say 7 or 8, will your kid be able to handle the kind of true swimming independence where you can turn your back. If you need a refresher on Part 1, go ahead and click here.

Part 2 is about getting closer to the pros and cons with starting swimming at 1 1/2 to nearly 3 years of age.

The Cons: Moodiness, Lack of Judgment & Comprehension
This is usually a very difficult age for me to teach. I think this is a very difficult age for mom or dad. Lessons, or water exposure sessions, can go sweet or sour or any given day or moment. I’ve had 2-year olds love going underwater so much they didn’t want to leave after the first lesson, only to start screaming-crying at the start of the next.

I think it must be hard to have opinions and separation anxiety and not be able to express yourself verbally, which is what I feel is going on with this age group spread. I can only think to refer to this moodiness as early (and extended) “Terrible Two’s.”

• My advice: Sign up for one private one-on-one lesson or group class where you can get in the water — a situation where you can be told and showed how to do skills and if your child isn’t having the best day, you can walk away without disrupting the class or loosing too much money. If you’re curious on what to work on skill-wise for this age, go here.

Another con to discuss is how at this age, children lack a sense of judgment. They might love the water, but they don’t know how to not run straight for it when they see it. Cognitive development — the kind we instructors need to have a retaining conversation about pool rules — isn’t there yet.

• My advice: Always, alway, always, get into the pool first before your child, and make them climb out first as well. Use cuing. Meaning before they jump or swim to you once in the pool, make them wait until they hear your cue, such as 1~2~3! before they do it. No matter what your child can do, it is unacceptable to leave them in the pool unattended. Do not teach your child that swimming without you, or without someone else, is okay. Work on pool rules and safe behaviors now.

This leads us into comprehension, or communication. Instruction is about taking in information and applying it. What your early/extended Terrible Two’s cannot communicate through words is done through tears (and only a parent knows how to make it better). Crying in water, for any reason doesn’t grow happy swimmers.

• My advice: Use adult words or swimming language from the beginning, especially on the safety front. Manage the communication barriers yourself. You cannot inflict an instructor with the impossibility of getting your child to do something they can’t mentally understand or emotionally carry out until their age allows them to.

The Pros: Submersion & A Good Start
The pros don’t need much cheering. The best thing you can do for your child is take them underwater, or fully submerge them.

• My advice: Introduce the sensation of water pouring on the head using “water play” tactics. Sing songs and dribble over the face and head to establish comfort. Use your cuing before you dribble. Move on to secured lifts or jumps off the side of the pool, where you are holding your child the whole time and have eye contact. You cue into the water — and under the water– at your control and confidence. You build up to a full submersion together.

If you notice, most of the advice I give for this age requires you get into the pool with your baby or toddler. That means having a pool or a membership at a pool. Most of my advice requires you being the first experience of a good swimming example, which means being patient and working on age-appropriate skills until the cognitive ability to understand more is present. Yes, to have a swim kid, you must be a swim parent and swim by example. That’s probably not just the safest advice I can give you, but the best head start too.