This is a touchy subject, or I could just feel this way because I highly value the importance of having control. I think it is a personality thing.
Regardless, it sounds about right to expect a teacher to play the role of Leader, but since swim lessons involve at least 3 people — a teacher, a parent, and a student — confusion over who plays what and how to execute your responsibilities can be an issue and struggle.
Let’s say you’ve got a dynamic of all participants having a history of being headstrong (but in the most positive way, of course): an aggressive swim student, a very involved parent, and an extremely experienced swim instructor.
In this scenerio, the Leader is the instructor; the Supporter is the parent, and the Follower is the child.
Okay, so now you’ve got a fearful swim student, a parent who witnessed the child almost drown, and a newly-trained swim instructor.
The Leader is the instructor; the Supporter is the parent, and the Follower is the child. For any situation, the line up always falls this way. Period.
It is important everyone in the triangle understand their role so expectations can be lived up to. It is also important to realize the amount of control hasn’t been taken away from anyone, just cleverly reassigned in a way that allows everyone to work together much better.
- The Leader: The assigned and expected expert, the teacher, is the Leader. No matter if the instructor is new to working with kids or just your kid or a complete know-it-all, the Leader is the one the position needing specific information so they can get the job done. The Leader is very dependent upon the Supporter to be able to find their way through their job.
- The Supporter: The parent is the Supporter. The Supporter grants the Leader the okay to create a swimming experience and relationship with their child. The Supporter delivers vital factual evidence about their child’s swim history, both good and bad, but keeps subjectivity at bay. The Supporter handles discipline issues. The Supporter’s magic wand is using words of encouragement to steer through tough times, no matter who the words are for (including themselves). Their support and information is vital to to the success of the Leader and the Follower.
- The Follower: The Follower is the child. They are here because the Supporter said they need to be. The Follower is there to try, despite fears, tears, the word no, and unique learning styles. All Followers have one universal goal that makes them equal: Learn how to be safe in the water.
Change assigned roles, and you create dysfunction. This is not to say a parent cannot teach their child to swim; but if you’re a parent and you’re doing Leader behavior, you aren’t ready to hire a swim instructor. A child might need explaining before a lesson how to be a Follower. And if a teacher cannot take the reigns despite encouragement from the Supporter, the Leader’s abilities need to be addressed to the Bigger Leader, or their supervisor (in a supportive way by the Supporter, of course).
It sounds brash, but that’s because I think this kind of truth-telling is either a shock to the control system, or it simply hurts your pride. But it also whips all roles into shape and cranks out success.
What do you think? Do you think it is appropriate to address this issue to a parent this way?
